On 23rd turned 26

Silent...

Solemn...

Peaceful...

Three simple words to describe my 26th year of existence in this world. Thankful that God gave me another chapter to fill and another year to discover and gain more knowledge and wisdom. Another 12 months to discover new things about the beauty of His creation. Another 366 days of facing challenges and surpassing each every passing days.

It's not always about the party and celebration, but what's more important is the thought that people whom you have loved and cared for can still remember that one special day when God has created someone special to be part of their lives. I've been thankful every year simply because this one special day can make me realize who are these true people who are always there whenever you are troubled and are there to support you all through out when you're down and needs someone to lean on.

I look back on the old days when I am just a nobody, and I am so happy that I was taught by my family to always look back to where I started because it's helping me in becoming a better person. Today, I just want to look back on those good old days and as well as the days when I had fallen apart. I look forward to better tomorrow and I believe that one day, I will be having the dream that I have always dreamed of. I still believe that "Fate always finds its way", I just need to have patience in waiting.

In this special day of mine, I would just like to thank those who's been there always beside me and keeping the fire inside me alive. In time I will be able to thank you all. I could say that I'm a bit disappointed because this isn't my plan, however I still feel happy and contented. To you all, I don't need to mention your names because I know that you already knew who you all are, from the bottom of my heart thank you so much for making my day so special.

Just a little thought...

Tonight, after watching Sex and the City 2, I came to realize that it has been 4 years since I went to US. It made me miss a lot of happy memories when I got the chance to stay in NJ for 3 months and visit some states in the East particularly New York since most of our weekend we go there and roam around.

I miss a lot of things whenever I see photos of the buildings that I have seen and of course the urge of going back to the US, might it be to study, work or live for awhile. I envy some of my friends who have relatives that supports them entirely and will even sponsor them to go abroad. I wish I have some too. However, live has never been fair, in life we have different fate, different destiny. I guess I am destined to work hard before I can earn what I wish to earn and I need to face all the challenges in life. 

I wish things were different, if only wishes do come true and what I think about do come true then I can definitely have everything that I want to have. They say that magic is just for kids and kids at heart and yet it makes me wonder if it's really true cause I really want to have one so that I can make a lot of difference not just with my life as well as with the lives of those who are in need. I guess if I was born with golden spoon in mouth, I wouldn't have the same attitude that I have right now. I might be someone who is high and mighty. A so called bitch and a bully, someone who looks down on other people and criticize them. Or, I can be someone who helps other people a lot specially those who are in need. 

We will never know, but one thing is certain. I want to have a name of my own, a palace if not a mansion dedicated to my mom. An abode for my adopted family who's always been there to support me and accept for everything that I am. On February 23rd, it'll be my 26th birthday and I need to step up and straighten my life. I need to make sure that I will go back to school and have a degree in college no matter what. Find someone who will be my guide and who will be there to back me up and insure that I will be living my dream. Age does not matter, what matters most is that I have the skills and talent that can help me out in conquering everything.

Tonight I will sleep with all this dream not just in my head but as well as inside my heart. I pray to God that He may light up the path on where my journey begins. But, before this things can happen, I need to have a good start...

I am a Sutherlander

I still remember the good old days when I first came in to Sutherland, I'm scared and not confident enough that I can pass the interviews that I'll be going through. It was the 3rd quarter of 2007 and if I remember everything correctly; I actually failed during my language interview and did not get the opportunity to undergo final interview. After a month, someone called me from the recruitment team and asked me if I am willing to undergo 4 weeks language training, I'm part of the first batch. It's the first time that they will be having this 4 weeks COL training for those whom they think just need some more time in learning the proper way of speaking the universal language. I did not let the opportunity pass and grab it right away. On our 3rd week, one account, my very first account, had hiring for new agents;

Blockbuster;

I had fun writing an essay as part of the process in checking if I will pass and be part of the account and I did. I became an official part of Sutherland September 17, 2007. Blockbuster was a fun, easy and cool account, it's basically email. You need to answer costumer's query through email and the most difficult metrics that you need to achieve is CSAT since it's not easy to please and satisfy someone when you're not actually speaking to them and explaining the reasons on why there are some problem that occurred in their services. The sad part, we are the accounts wave 8 and we only stayed for a month, 2 weeks of product training and 2 weeks being on the floor and we were all transferred to another account. My Home...

PHH;
My comfort zone. The place where we treat each other as one team and one family, together we strive for the growth of the account. This is the place where I learned to believe in myself and strive to grow up. The account that opened a lot of opportunities on my end and for my team mates as well. PHH gave me the opportunity to see the "Dream Land"; I was sent to US for mortgage training and I really enjoyed the tours that we had while staying there for 3 to almost 4 months. I was able to visit New York, Niagara Falls, Staten Island where Statue of Liberty is located, Philadelphia, and Atlantic City. I've been part of this account for almost 3 years and tears fell when I had to leave it and start a new.

JPMC;
I did had a bad start with the account, most especially with the tenured guys who has been part of the account since it all started. We were unwelcome, that's what I did feel when we came in the first time and I knew right there and then that we need to step up and make a difference so that everyone will accept and appreciate us. As we move forward, things changed and we became one tough family to beat. When you say Barangay Chase it only means one thing unity, one team and a family, everyone can't let us down until such time that everything came to and end wherein we need to bid farewell to others and just see you around for some.

Do I still need to mention the last which happens to be a hell??? No need to I guess, though I did met a lot of great people and gained new friends my last account was the worst. It's gave me the realization that as much as I have love being a Sutherlander, there are some things that you need to give up and start looking for a new home. But of course in my heart Sutherland will always be no.1. My home outside my real home, I'll be back when everything is on track. Signed off effective January 04, 2012.

Why do you want to study fashion?

Aside from the fact that I would love to be a world renowned filipino fashion designer, I want to study fashion to learn the from the basic up until I further develop my talent and skills in creating the best clothing designs that is not only fashionable as well as comfortable and wearable.


The best people that we have in our country did not just rely simply on their skills and talents as well as creativity. They enhance their skills and talents by continuous study and learning and as well as experience of course. I can say that I could create what I envisioned, and yet the question is, did I execute it very well? One thing is certain, we all need proper education in whatever career or profession we choose. I believe that practice makes perfect but then again having the opportunity to study and get proper education on what you would love to do is still the best solution for me to be able to gain the knowledge that will be essential when I start moving around the industry that I would love to take part of.


Fashion is something very magical for me, it is my way of portraying the characters on fairy tale books when I was still a little child. My way of relieving stress when I started studying and as well as when I already need to work to sustain a leaving and support my love ones. I often sketch designs that just pops out of my creative mind and as well as getting ideas from what I see from the magazines and fashion shows that I have watched. It's not a mere fanatic but happened to be a dream, that one day I could see myself having my own clothing line, working with celebrities, fashion icons; etc and having fashion shows not just here in the Philippines but as well as top fashion cities in the world. 


For me, studying fashion will be essential. It will give me the proper knowledge that is needed aside from the skills and talent that I already possess. It will also be an enhancement on my end since I grew up in the saying that proper education is the only possession that you can have and can never be stolen. 

I'm Falling for you...

The hardships of being a gay...

I'm committed to date, been 9 months, couldn't say that it's perfect since we don't have perfect communication with each other. Do I still love him? that I can't answer straight coz my heart is beating for someone else right now. A person whom I know I can help in building his dreams, I feel so sad that I have to feel this way, maybe I just grew tired of asking for him to grow up and be responsible and found someone who captures my interest when it comes to being responsible and has a dream, a goal to achieve in life.

Yes, I'm honest and true that I'm not faithful coz I still go out with different guys all the time, but that doesn't mean that I didn't love him. I already gave everything that I've got and being with him is the biggest challenge I ever had. He's not my lucky charm I guess, coz whenever he's near trouble is on its way. Being so perky and kind is becoming quite difficult, I can't say "NO" or should I say that I don't know how to say "NO".

The dilemma of meeting someone new and that someone captures your heart is quite frustrating. I should have stop myself from the very start if I only knew that things will be this way. I know that I need to be contented with whom I'm committed with right now, but I can't stop myself from caring two special person at the same time. I always say to myself that I need to focus with one priority at a time but since I am confident that I can handle things very well, might as well go on.

When the time comes and it will cause me pain, then that I guess would be the time for me to stop and start a new.

8 mos and we're getting stronger?

It's been 8 mos since we committed with each other, haven't seen him though for quite a while. I've missed him? I guess so... can't hardly say "YES" coz my heart is becoming confused with all this guys coming my way.

Last time that we went out together was January 17th, 2011 and then that was it, he only greeted me last February during valentines day, our monthsary and my birthday. He didn't show up though, I expected him to be on my birthday but he didn't come and it hurts me a lot coz he always have excuses that he's shy facing my family.

On our 8th month he greeted me and we've seen each other after a day or two. I did miss him, his kiss and hugs... His smell and the way he smiles at me... But why can't I stop myself from missing someone else?

--- 2010 ---

"And so this is Christmas, and what have we done? Another year over, a new just begun" just a simple line from one of my favorite Christmas songs sung by Celine Dion.

Year 2010 gave me a lot of career rise and down fall at the same time. Realizations and uncountable blessings, it made me more stronger and became more open with lot's of changes that's happening with my environment.

Let's start...

January...

Start of my year was great, I was chosen as training apprentice for my PHH account and was getting ready to handle my training class for one of the PTC Queues. Am not sure if there's something special ever happened for this month... Hmmmnn, there's one; Giann a very good friend of mine won Mr. HAU and I've been being introduce to some well known personality here in Pampanga.

February...

Got a year older, being more witty and experienced. One of the most unforgettable was when I got my trainees pass their training though some of them fail, I'm still happy cause I produce a competent team who is very open when it comes to changes. Another one was when I pass out in the Mansion while partying with my SGroup family, I lost one of the most valuable and sentimental property I ever had my entire life. I lost my cellphone which happens to be my very first consolation working with Sutherland 3 days before my birthday. Well, not to mention that my birthday was the saddest one since I was left by my family. But, I survived and learned the rule when it comes to partying and drinking.

March...

Became one of the SME's for my account. Had handled my own team which happens to be my trainees also, tested my patience of doing what the supervisors though for my understanding is that my position has a different approach. Nothing special for the month though.

April, May and June...

Summer full of fun, shocking truth and unacceptable circumstances. Within these months, I got the chance to be with old friends and family. I also got the chance to strut my staff inside the fashion world. Handle bikini pageants once again which I often does for the past years since I came back from being an event organizer in Manila. Unexpected problem occurred with some projects am working on with and yet everything came out just fine.

I lost one of my best friends due to an accident and can't accept the truth and see him for the last time. Got the pass to watch Philippines Fashion week after a long while not getting the chance to watch it. Being able to have a reunion with my theatrical family, have fun with them and enjoy their company.

July...

One of the saddest and unforgettable month of the year. Not able to sign my new position as SME and was transferred to another account, it broke my heart and yet we can't do anything. Growing up in the industry with only one motto "business needs" is quite difficult and yet you need to go with the flow.

Unforgettable, simply because I found that special person that I've been longing for such a long time. July 17th, a very special day. After 7 years of searching and moving forward from my last, I finally found him, not to mention that everything is very sudden, no formal dates and I don't even knew him that much and yet I felt that he can be that one special person that I could take good care of.

August...

Tragic, health issues and downfalls. First week after being totally depressed and frustrated with the new environment that I'll be working with, I got sick. My Pharynx and tonsils were swollen and I need to take a rest for almost a week due to high fever and as per my doctors advise. Feeling better, I went to work though not totally well yet I know I can handle myself so I pushed through.

On the 13th, bad news came from my father's family. My Aunt had one of her brain nerve snapped causing her to be comatose. However, due to busy schedule I wasn't able to visit her when she was rushed to the hospital and was transferred to my other Aunt's place since they don't have the money to have her admitted to ICU. She died Tuesday, and I went to her funeral the next day after my shift. All eyes on me, hearing words that pierced my heart, and was judge that I need to be sorry for what happened to my Aunt. It didn't affect me cause I know that I have never neglected my Aunt emotionally and physically. The only thing that I feel sorry for is that I did not get the chance to help her financially when I already knew that she was sick due to the negative feedbacks that I hear about where her money goes. I missed her so much, the person who was there when I stand on my own already left me, she did not even gave me the chance to thank her for everything and yet I know that she's already happy where ever she is right now. --- Merry Christmas Aunt Marte ---

After my Aunt's Burial, got sick once again, having my kidney swollen at this point. I really don't feel very well, being totally shocked and yet I can't do anything about it. The only thing that I've got to do was to have my continues medication that cost me a lot. A month full of trials and yet ended up having everything fixed up and better.

September...

September 17, 2010... One of the biggest event that ever happened in my corporate life. I won first runner with Sutherland's Carnival Queen, I was only hoping to bag one award and yet I got more than what I was expecting. It felt like a true beauty queen, everyone was looking at you, sending praises and knowing you a lot more. Winning this corporate, fun filled and employee engagement pageant gave me and opened a lot of opportunities to know more people and be more closer with my new account and also within the outside community.

October and November...

Nothing new, what else to expect when everything that happens daily is just the same from the past few days. 17th of the month will still be my special day with my special someone. Got the chance to meet new people and be their friends.

Had the chance to work with the top fashion designers of Angeles City as Choreographer/Director and Make Up Artist. Tiring and yet satisfying, what is life if you won't make the most of it?

December...

Final countdown before Christmas and New Year. Waited to received my 13th month and spend some for myself and for my love ones. Felt sad cause I didn't have SL conversion and yet very happy to have a moment with my special one and also with my Family. Best gift that I ever received this Christmas is when one person whom you don't expect the most reached out and greeted you 2 hours before Christmas day.

New Year is fast approaching, do I need to have resolutions again? or just have to live my life fully once a day? I already made a lot of mistakes my whole life and this coming year will be my chance to right what I've done wrong and try to fix everything that can be fixed. To start moving forward and embrace my responsibility with my parents as their child. To help my siblings grow up and have a life of their own. to be more wise in every decision that I'll be facing. To be strong in facing life's trials and difficulties, that no matter what happens I'll be understanding and have belief that HE won't be giving me this challenges and trials if HE knows that I can't handle it myself.

Becoming me is difficult and yet I know that I grew up very well. Prim and proper, sophisticated, fashionable and strong wilde all at one. I'm just hoping that as I get older this coming 2011, I'll gain more wisdom and knowledge. A lot of growth opportunities when it comes to my career with Sutherland. Travel opportunities inside and outside of the country. Learning opportunities that was been stucked for a long time.

Farewell 2010, you helped me grow a lot.

Starting a new, I am now closing this chapter of my life and will just look back to reflect on what I've done negatively, leave it and learn from it. Maintain and improve what I've done positively.

2011 is the start of a new...

- gApS -