A love to share...

19th of August, it's been awhile since we saw each other, almost a week. Haven't got the chance to be together even during our Special Day. Some circumstances kept us apart for awhile and now it will be longer. You'll be working from afar, and I'm not sure if you could still give me that spare time of yours during your unbusy days. You'll be tired just like me, from daily work routine, from life and from everything. In my heart am still hoping, faith still kept burning. I know that even in your most busy days, at the end of the day, you'll keep your promise.



I'm missing you so much, I don't know what else to do without you. It seems that everything in my world is not complete if am not hearing anything from you. Simple thoughts that makes me smile, simple words that tickles my heart. I hope this things will last until such time that we need to be afar from each other since we'll be focusing on our own lives. I am loving you, each passing day, my heart keeps on missing you. I wish to take good care of you, be your best friend, your baby and grow old even when you already had your own family...

A love to share...

11th of August, Cease fire... that's what I thought. I was even happy the whole day, even though I already told my family that we're through. I texted you and asked for the night to be mine, I want to talk to you and patch things up between the two of us. To ask if you still want to pursue things between us, after all am already nagging you. You said, "YES", no guest coming? again "YES", comes night fall, I was all ready to talk to you, I waited until 10 PM thinking that you were just busy at school since that's what you've told me earlier in the afternoon. I texted and what you replied? "the gurl is here", I'm already on my way, so I asked you to let her leave or else I might do something to her, (even though I know I can't coz I'm not that type of person). You chose her instead of me and that hurted me so much. First time that I cried in pain, no tears falling at all. I can feel the pain coming from the inside and made me say a lot of bad things to you. I didn't leave, I waited for the time that we'll have a talk. I need to open things up, clear the scaterred mess and know what's my position in your life.

12 MN we had our heart to heart talk and it was the first time I saw you cried. I t melted my heart and told you that if you don't want to continue I'll be accepting it with all my heart, yet you asked me back. How can I say "No" to some who cried for me and told me that he's already doing everything to make me happy and understand me. I left light hearted though still feeling sorry for all the things that I have said that hurt you. I gave you the right to decide on everything, you're time will now be my time. If you're not available then I should understand, I'm just asking for a spare time anyway. In my heart I know that things will never be the same again, but still hoping that in time things will go back to where it use to be.



12th of August, total cease fire... You called me your baby again, after all what I have done. You were so light in accepting everything that's happening between the two of us. I guess that's the reason why I fall for you, we are on the same road. We accpt everything so lightly no matter what.



13th of August, bonding moments after all I still care for him. I can't hate him as much as I want to and that scares me. 40% of my heart totally belong to him right now.



17th of August, Happy Special day for both of us. But then again, circumstances arrived. My dear Aunt died, the one person whom I have gratitude with, left the world already. Haven't asked forgiveness for all the negligence that I have done. I really feel guilty and soory, though I know I shouldn't. All my fault was not helping her out financially, but I always check on her even with my own simple ways. Plans colide, my special day isn't complete since I haven't met that special person who's celebrating it with me.

"Promises aren't made to be broken, but there are certain circumstances that we have to" this is my text to him, after I greeted him happy special day. I can't pursue the plan of having our tattoos since I spent most a lot when I was still sick. I also spent a lot during the weekend, going out partying since I was bored to death staying at home lying in bed during those bed ridden days. A simple thought, "thanks for taking care to me"...

A love to share..

9th of August, I asked you to come at my place coz I asked Apu to cook spaghetti which I bought coming from my very first PAG IBIG loan. Something to share for our monthsary in advance. You said Yes and I was so happy since I do really want to see after not seeing each other last Sunday night since I'm not available due to my sickness. You promised to come no matter what and asked me if it's okay to be late and I said yes coz I really wish to see you. I thought you were alone, but you were with friends, so I cannot do what I want; hugging and kissing you. That's fine with me, their my friends to anyway. I was there, present, beside you and yet you were talking about this Girl that you were texting, I let it pass coz am already used to it, it's part of the guy thingy I know. Then you all said goodbye coz you all need to go home. I even texted you that you are so flirt, happy coz I got to see you, not even imagining that I will also be disappointed and will get hurt. I called to check if you were home already, just to check if you're home safely and yet what you've answered hurt me the most, you answered me in a way that as if you really want to hurt me. Couldn't sleep coz my heart has something inside that wants to keep me awake that even though my body wants to rest, still it won't stop.

Midnight of 10th of August, I cannot stop myself from trying a call and I can't stop my heart from beating fast, I already made up my mind to break up with you. I know that it will hurt, but then am already used to it, I grew up with it. You're phone ringed, and I texted you telling you that I want a break up. As I woke up, things were all clear to me, you only think of yourself, of what your needs are and did not even care if my feelings will get hurt of what you've done. You did not respect my emotion, you only cared about yours.

It was almost lunch time when you said sorry for what you've that, and I'm already okay. I accepted the fact that we're through, I asked and you just asked me the same question. Right now, am not sure if I could still have trust and belief in whatever promises that you will say. You'll have to earn it, I gave you everything, I even fall for you, 40% that is. You almost had me, but then I realized, we're both just looking for convenience and so I gave you another chance. You still tickle my heart and you still make me happy that's all that matters for now. But am not sure how long this things will last.

A love to share..

7th of August, just when I thought that we had our first fight, you just slept on it without even telling me how you truly feel. I thought that you don't want to see me after what I've told you and yet you even asked me if I am sure. Just when I thought that you'll feel cold, and yet you didn't. You made me happy and contented, I just need to handle things the right way. I do feel jealous simply because I'm competing with a real woman, but I am trying my best not to because in the first place I just asked for an ample time to be with you, which you always provide. I should be thankful for having you as my boy, cause not only that you accepted me as I am, but also you give me time to be with you. Tonight, even though am not feeling good, I will sleep well and be happy that I've got the chance to be with you even in a short time.

A love to share..

I know that we are on the same side when we decided to give it a try. We hardly know each other well but still we tried. One night of being intoxicated and drunk, a night of unforgetable experience. I didn't know why the next day I asked you if you can be mine, with no hesitation you just answered my question. And now am confused if I'll have things pushed through when deep inside my heart am afraid, but I'm learning to love and care for you...

It was on the dawn, 16th of July when we accidentally had our first unofficial kiss, you're naughty and yet so sweet that made me not forget. That very same day, as we texted each other during the night, I asked you if we could give it a try since I want you to be my boy, you said "yes" and without any further discussion we made things official with reservations of course.

17th of July, I asked you out and watch movie, you picked me up around 6:30, "Sorcerer's Apprentice" that's what we watched, then after we strolled at the park and just chat with each other, getting to know each other deeper. That was a very special night of being officially committed with each other.

19th of July was when you asked to see me, I was in deep of my sleep that time. The very first time that you went to our house and had our deal that after 10 meet ups you'll allow me to introduce you to my 2nd family. This day made me see how vulnerable you are and how precious and dear you are to me, you almost cried telling me what was the problem all about, it was a total down fall on your part. I hugged and comforted you, give out my best support in making you feel better and promised to help you out no matter what. As you left with hope, you kissed me for the second time around, now it's official.

21st of July, your big day. Time to face your problem and take proper solution in solving your problem. I'm happy that I was at your side and giving out full support, it's been funny to see such tough guy handled such painful situation even though you almost cried. Still, you stood up and move forward without entertaining the pain. And at night, you introduced me with your friends, and I somehow liked them and had fun with them.

Then, there's a long wait... I've missed you so much that I tried to find ways within my busy schedule to see you.

31st of July, we went out with your friends and my work mates, got the chance to bond with you more. You left me saying that you're sorry but it's okay because that you're not feeling well that particular day, you already had too much of a drink to handle. I went home alone and yet am happy and contented though in my heart am hoping that the next that we'll be going out, we will sleep together, cuddling each other.

2nd of August, I gave you my very first gift. You promised to take good care of it and will make sure that I can see it whenever we are together. That same night, just when I thought that you will not be keeping your promise of coming into our house, so I fell asleep and you were kinda disappointed because you were thinking that I didn't trust your words. Then again, even in front of your friend, I can't stop myself from hugging you, if only I could find a way for us to live together...

3rd of August, we had the chance to eat together. A simple yet sumptuous date as I can describe it. I'm happy that you listened to all my sentiments, to all my secrets and for giving me the chance of knowing much better with each passing day. Saying the words to me is difficult but I know deep in my heart that you care for me more that I care for you, I trust you... thanks for everything... I know that we're both on the same side, you can't say you love me, same as I can't utter those words to you... but deep in side I'm learning to love you...

4th of August, the first time you texted me, calling me your "baby", it tickled my heart. Nobody called me that way except me calling my guy friends as endearment, let me call you "wawa" instead, exclusively yours and will not be used to call other guys that sorrounds me. A tight hug that night made me feel happy and contented, it made me feel what's been missing in my life for a long time.

5th of August, tonight you made me gain full trust in believing all what you're promising. You made me fall for you another step again. I feel loved even though I know that I won't be hearing the word "I love you" being uttered by your lips. You made my sleep so peaceful with your hug and kiss.

6th of August, I'm not sure what will happen tonight. I'm totally not feeling well and I don't have the chance to communicate with you since our phone was locked in PG... You're elder brother's phone that you should be using was being used by him since I helped him be endorse at my job. I missed you already, but I can do anything for us to be together tonight, I'm only waiting for you to contact me. I envy those girls that is still part of your life and gives out something to satisfy you, if only... Right now am not sure if I should not feel this way, I allowed you to be free, all am asking is for you to have time with me in which you always do have... The night is still long and my eyes can't stop looking at my CP checking if there's a message coming from you... I guess tonight, I'll sleep without hearing anything from you, but as you have told me before... This will make our relationship stronger and better...

Who, What and Where?

It's been a long time since I had my last entry on this blog. Been too busy with my job since I've been transferred to another account and been trying ot cope up with the new process that I'm with right now.

Who...

Who makes my life miserable right now? my relatives in my Father's side. I don't know what's their problem why they always try to put me down and why they always say bad things about me. Is it my fault if I am that good when it comes to handling myself very well? being blessed with a job that gives me all the credits of earning big and being able to spend at my own will? I became strong because of them, they are the inspiration behind why I dreamt big and had high hope of achieving my goals in life.

Who makes me happy? someone special who welcomed me with all his heart. May it be because of love or friendship doesn't matter. After being single for such a long time I found my special one, someone whom I could share all my sentiments and who values my worth and accepts me for who I am and not for what I can give. We may not know each other well when we started but each passing day makes it worthed.

What...

What are my plans in life? First on my list will still be having my diploma with any course that I will be studying, it doesn't matter to me now. Taking up courses that you love won't give you a job anyway, it'll still be up to you. Companies do hire people taking more consideration with skills and ability. Degree is not an essence, I for instance is an HRM under graduate and yet I only used my degree for few years and did not grow up. With my line of job right now, degree is off the essence, what's more important is that you're earning big while enjoying yourself.

2nd in line will be to grow with the company am with right now. I want to take chances in making a move up the ladder for success. I want to gain more experience with all the fields that I know I can manage and have the guts and talents to work it out. Being trainer is one, it's fun and challenging. Can be a Team Leader also since I already had experiences handling people, coach them and taught them how to be more efficient with their jod is such an achievement on my part.

3rd to leave the country before the age of 30, I still have 6 years to work things out. I have plans of going back to the US or might try my luck at Singapore. Whatever comes first doesn't matter as long as I can pursue my dreams and achieve my goal.

Where...

Where am at right now? Hmmnnn... I am at the peak of my career as a call center senior agent. I'm still happy where am at and I can't even believe that I stayed long with this type of Industry. Sometimes it all comes to my mind that I wanted to quit, but then I always realize that it's quite difficult to start over again. Three years is such an establishment, I am already known. My name became known, maybe not that popular but as someone who at first impression was a Bitch and when you'll get to know more can be a good friend.

Within the society, I'm already having a name since I had an elite circle of friends who are known for their creativity and artistic side, I'm becoming part of them. Who would have known that a simple person like me who don't even have a fashion sense at all can be inclined with fashion. I'm pushing myself through and hoping that one day I can be as popular and well known as they are. Having a name within the world of Fashion and Showbiz Industry.

Who, What and Where... 3 W's of my current life, it's already a fact. A chameleon who can easily cope up with certain and unavoidable changes in life. I always hold on to my principle and motto in life... "Fata Viam Inveniente and one road, one chance".