It's been awhile

So, it's been awhile since I last wrote something here. Not that I have a lot of people reading my blog, still, I miss writing things that comes up in my mind; what I experience; what I want to express; a piece of something that will let me breathe once in awhile.

I can't believe that I have been in the US for more than a year now. A lot has happened and I learned a lot. I wasn't able to meet new people much as I don't even go out partying much. I go out just to appreciate the views, roam around Downtown, walk by the beach, look around the local thrift stores and bookstores, watch movies and take photos of places and things that I am seeing around.

After the fire that burned the place where I used to work and live at the same time, lost all of my personal stuff; I have to adjust with my working environment big time. I have to handle different people and also work with different people. It was difficult because up until now, I am still adjusting and just trying to appreciate what I do everyday. As what I have read before, love your job and it'll love you back. So here I am trying to love what I am doing focusing on what I want to achieve and what my real goal in life is. The reason why instead of pushing through with what I love to do in life, here I am doing things differently.

They say, you are the one who makes your destiny. You are the one who makes who you are, you choose to be someone depending on your liking. I guess that it's true, if you believe that you can do things then it will happen. Staying positive is always the best answer to every problem, smile that's when people see who you truly are as a person.

turning point in life

Last night I was asked by one of my close friends about my turning point in life. I had to think, I am unsure when, and if what comes to my mind is considered my turning point in life. And then this morning it hit me; 

- I became part of a local theater group when I was 17 years old, it's my turning point of living my dream of becoming an actor. I was able to get big roles that I never expect I would get, I became a backstage person which made me fell in love with the costumes and make up artistry. 

- At the age of 18, I became part of a family that is not even blood related to mine and yet they considered me as part of them, loved me and cared for me as if I was one of their own. Another turning point in my life where I realized that I was given gifts by God that is more that what I deserved in life. 

- I became part of an event team, became a handler, choreographer and even back stage director. These are the turning point in my life that I never realized I am already taking part of the industry that I have been dreaming to be part of a long long time ago.

- then there's PEM, I gained new people who believed in what I can do and what my capabilities are. It made me closer to the community, have advocacy to help other people, to give back after receiving. To have another family and friends to enjoy and have fun. 

- I then became part of JCI, a group of diverse individuals who made me realized what a country and a community should be. Culiat JCI is my ideals of a great community and probably country, where status quo is not an issue, it focuses more on what the group wants to achieve as one. It's another turning point in my life that honed me to be exceptional, that no matter what happens there will always be people to support you no matter what you want to achieve in life and even though you did wrong, they won't let you down, instead, they will pull you up and stand back on your feet.

But you know what my biggest turning point in life is? It is when the place I called home when I started living in this foreign land called land of dreamers got burned down to ashes. Where I got nothing left but myself and few personal stuff. December 5, 2017 made me realized that material things can be taken from you easily, that even though you tell yourself that seeing this things make you feel good because it's what you earned for working hard. This was the moment that I looked back and realized that I have been working hard and yet I don't have any savings, that I keep on buying things that I don't even need, things that I only wear once and that's it. And because of that, I started to think several times before I buy something, I will think 100 times where and when to use it. I still have some flaws, but due to this unforgettable experience, I started to think about my future, what is the reason why I came here in the first place. God has always been with me in all this challenges, I would say that I am not a church person, I never attended mass because I only sleep when I attend one hence I rather visit the church, light a candle and offer a prayer. I always believed that God is everywhere, he's living inside our hearts. Our faith is not measured how many times you go to church, if you have memorized the bible, it's on how you believe in Him. 

What If's...

A lot of what if's... plans running my mind whenever I thought about the recent fire that happened to the place where I work and live that burned everything that I have established from the time that I arrived here in California and some important things that I have brought with me. 

What If - 

I had my mind focused and just go with my work mates when they went to the place to check what is already happening, wouldn't I be able to save a lot of my things and was able to think what should be brought while saving the lives of the old people that we are taking good care of. 

I was able to bring my hard drive with me where I save all of my precious moments taken via camera that was compiled since I started my social life and been surrounded by good people. Wouldn't I will be happy and will forget that all of my things have been eaten by the fire?

I did not transfer all my things at the place where I am working and still kept some at the other place where I use to stay during my off days, won't I be able to save more of my stuff?

the fire just didn't happen? wouldn't the holiday be more merry and brighter? I would still be with the people I care for and stays with them.

I can turn back time? maybe I will be more prepared and would know what to do.

How can you move forward when you can't even leave things behind. I believe that things happens for a reason and God has a perfect plan why this has happened. Maybe, just maybe, I will become more of a strong person and would be bale to leave everything behind. 

Time will only will tell what will happen... 

I just want to write what I have been feeling and hoping that by doing so, I will be able to let go. 

Looking forward for a brighter 2018 in the land that promises great opportunity to those who seeks for it. 

"Fata Viam Inveniente"

C'est la vie

Unforgettable

December 4 & 5 will be instill in my memory both good and bad, I lost everything, yes, but I am happy that I am alive and was able to save lives of the old people that I am taking care of. 896 Via Ondulando also known as Ocean View Cottage has been my home for the past 6 months that I have been here in California. Never did I imagine that I will be experiencing such disaster that took everything that I have established. This is the experience that made me realize how unpredictable life can be. 

A few weeks before christmas and not just I who will celebrate with nothing but a lot of family as well. I just pray to God that everything will turn out fine for everyone. 

A Caregiver's Life

If people think that it's an easy job, then they have to think twice. It is not a glamorous job indeed, however, if you put your heart in it, your hard work is going to be paid off. Being a caregiver has never been part of my option as I know what I can do, what my capacity and skills are and what I truly want in life. 

Let's get back, so here I am working as a caregiver, taking care of 6 old people not related to me which I never have done to any of my family member as I have been independent to myself and loved being alone. Every day you have to wake up early in the morning to get ready. Fix yourself and set your mind of what you are supposed to complete the whole day. 

Everyday you have to shower or sponge bath 5 of the residents that you are taking care of. Get them ready for the day. Once done, you need to clean the whole house, starting with the laundry every other day, then throwing out garbage, cleaning each room, (change bed covers, linens, pillow cases and comforter every 2 weeks), sweeping and mopping the floor. It is just like you are in a house, kind of different of what I have expected to be honest (the place where I am working at have the feels of being at home, it does not feel like a boarding care). 

You'll have to feed them breakfast, lunch and dinner, oh by the way, all of us working at the facility are Filipino's so imagine how we talk to each other about every days work. It's fun and tiring at the same time. But it's a fulfillment, specially, when you have completed all your chores and you see that everyone is happy and satisfied, until end of day.

So, here I am loving my job even though I am looking forward to have a better life and would be able to land on what I am passionate of doing. Let's just hope for the best then.  

Hello to a new place

Who would have thought that instinct is something that we can always count on. I have felt that I will be back to the place that everyone is looking forward to be part of, a dream land as they say. I thought that it'll happen by end of year through my hard worked savings just to visit the family who have loved me and took me as one of theirs. Little did I know that the universe is already cooking something big for me and unexpectedly, a good friend of mine contacted me and asked if I wanted to work as a caregiver for old people. It is a 360 degrees turn for me since I have been starting with my passion which is to be part of the fashion industry which I have been dreaming to achieve since I was still a young child. I realized that I have been afraid to take chances since I had no funds to sustain my dream and grabbing this opportunity is a very huge lift on my end.

I am hoping that I will be able to reach my goal by being here. Probably, I will not be in this industry since I can see a lot of opportunity that can be opened if only I take risk and I know I will. It is time to face challenges head on. I am far from home, far from my comfort zone and at the end of the day, I need to learn how to stand on my own if I really wanted to achieve my goal in life. 

I am looking forward for a better tomorrow. That when the right time comes for me to go back home, I am able to live the life that I have been dreaming, maybe it's not going to be easy and I will be facing a lot of bumps along the way, but it's okay, I know that there is always a right time for everything. Hello America! Hello to a New Place! "Fata Viam Inveniente" 

Random

I don't have a lot of readers, yes, but I am happy seeing some checking what I write and post. My apologies as I am not a good writer, I just do freestyle, I write what I think and express what I feel. I just need something where to put my feelings unto. I envy those people who could write and express what comes in their minds with perfect plot and story. I am actually trying but I guess it's not really for me.

Today, I just want things to be random.

I am not even sure what my Team Leader will do if he sees me doing something not work related, but I don't care. I just want to express what I feel right now.

So, my weekend went great even though I am still coping up with my new rest day schedule which is Friday and Saturday, advantage actually since I can go to any event which are mostly scheduled on a Friday and Saturday. 

Friday, I watched Mister and Miss Holy Angel University, cheering for a friend and of course my crushes, was able to be proud hearing my name being acknowledge for providing assistance during their photo shoots. I kinda miss my life when I was still studying and handling this type of events. I'll admit, I was a bit disappointed with the flow of competition, still kudos to the organizers since they still made a lot of effort to make the pageant fabulous. In the end, even though me and my friend does not agree with one of the winners we still need to accept the result.

Saturday, I received the best gift ever. I am not sure what I did why I am receiving so much blessings this year, still I am so thankful. I guess that is because of how I treat people and how I project myself as a person. I can look tough on the first look and you have to dig deeper on order to know me well. It's just the first impression. Just like when you read a book, you do not just look at its cover but you have to read it thoroughly in order for you to know it more. Had family time after awhile, I missed my Yumi, I bet she's sad and cried since I haven't visited her for quiet awhile. It's not easy to have her at my own place since I always come home late and I leave early all the time. What's more fascinating was gate crashing the after party of Mr and Ms HAU candidates. It was actually fun though I do not have the guts to talk to them, I don't know where it went but I enjoyed the night. Gosh it's been a long time since I went our partying. 

Oh well, as of right now, here I am, working and at the same time updating this blog, which happened to be my diary at the same time. And I am not sleepy since I went home at around 4pm and has to wake up at 9am since I need to cook my brunch and as well as for my dinner that I will be bringing to work. Single life is really fun and challenging at the same time. My life is getting fulfilled one by one and in time I know I will be able to achieve my goal, take it slowly but surely. Though taking risk is another option.