One Year and Six Months

Hello Jobry!

How have you been? reflecting your life here in California since you arrived last June 12, 2017, can you say that your life has been great? Dreams coming true? Few bumps and struggles along the way?

Well, life for me has never been easy, I am just good in adapting. I change the way my environment change but never forgetting who I am and where I came from. I have a people to thank as well for without them, I wouldn't be able to come here, work and travel at the same time. I was able to help my family and friends as well, meet new people and learn from them. I could say that my one year and six months stay here in California, I have appreciated everything, places that was only in my dreams, I was able to go to.

My faith became stronger and I believed that God is always there with us no matter what. Ask away and He will answer, He will provide and will grace you with whatever your heart's desire.

I will be missing California, the places that I always go to, the lovely weather, the sunny beach during summer, the Downtown, Ventura where I love to shop because of its thrift stores where you can find rare fashion items that are even signature ones. Universal Studios and Disneyland where I have jump for Joy and went back to being a kid. I never thought that I will be able to experience all of these. I know I can always go back anytime when I want to, I already have friends whom I can call, a place where I can stay, during travel times.

Thank you Ventura, CA for giving me a home away from home. You let me experience things that never in my life I imagined I would experience. You made me value life over matters, gave me and eye opener to learn that even though money isn't the most important thing in the world, still, you need to save as you will need it for the future. I will see you again, that is for sure. I'm going to start travelling soon, maybe, on my own or maybe I will have someone special with me, whatever God's plan is for me, I have faith in Him.

One Year and Six Month it'll always be kept in my heart...

Just for today....

It's been awhile, even though I don't write much here on my blog and I doesn't even have a lot of readers, it doesn't matter. This is actually my personal haven. A place where I can write what's in my mind. It's mostly free writing, nothing serious. 

It's December 11, 2018, today is my second driving lesson. I never had experience driving a car so I am totally nervous, there's a lot of things running in my mind. My driving instructor is scary straight to the point, he'll tell you what you need to work on straight to the point and to be honest, I am rattled and nervous. I just hope that I can have everything cleared and I will pass my behind the wheels even if it's just a short period of time learning. I could say when I drive around, it makes me feel so relaxed and I kinda loving it, giving time practicing on my own, I got a feeling that I will get the chance to travel around US soon. It's one of the plans that I have been trying complete before I go back to the Philippines and start doing what I love to do, having that said,when I arrive to Illinois and live with my family again, I will start doing what I am passionate about which is creating clothes not just for myself but for everyone else who will love my fashion. 

I have been here in the US for more than a year now and I could say that I am still looking for myself and what I want to do. I love being a caregiver staying with old people and chatting with them, knowing their history and what they did in their younger years. I got the chance to work in a restaurant and I love it as well, customer service all the way. I feel sad leaving but I want a new start, the family I am going to has been my family for 11 years, they want me to be with them since I came here, I just want to give them a chance. Maybe, just maybe, I will be able to find what is meant to be for me. 

What do I need to do next, I don't know, what will I be able to prove, I don't know as well. But in God's perfect timing, I will be great, I know it. So, I am claiming that 2019 and years onward will be good and blessed. 

First Love

Love Happens in the Nick of time...

The hearts gets what it wants, walang makakapigil nito...

She save a life, she needs a heart, but her heart is too pure for me...

I will never know unless I try.. "hope to live"

At least if I die, I died because I live...

Carpe Diem - Seize the day

Now . Live in the moment . Today

The movie gives out a lot of life lessons that you never expect. It's not just a regular movie where you'll know what to expect, the drama, the kilig, the ending... You are part of the movie, you are one with the characters, you'll feel na parang andun ka rin, nararamdaman mo kung ano ang nararamdaman nila. Direk Paul Soriano's attack is so surreal that you are also hurting for them but still want to be there, hold their hands, hug them and tell them to keep on going . There's a balance in every character shown in the movie, it's a small cast but it completes the story. One who happens to be Nick's part of the past and constant reminder of what he did and tries to correct. One that makes Ali happy and think positively. The locations was showcased perfectly, it wants you to go there and see its beauty. And the song, the song! OMG! I so love that part in the bookstore! Just perfect! "Ikaw ang aking mahal"...

Two people with different diseases, one is fighting to live, living life as if it's her last and One who already gave up life and just waiting for the end... I love this part - "Pinapaalala niya sa akin araw araw na malapit na akong mamatay, na pweding ngayong araw na ito eh mamamatay na ako"...

Aga Mulach never fails to amaze me, he will always be the best leading man in every love story that is created.

Bea Alonzo did not just perfected her role as Ali but as she said she became her character, you'll believe here. How she feels and what she really wants to do in life.

Edward Barber doesn't look that it's his first time in a serious role, you'll see that he embraces his character as well, there are some awkward moments yes, but you'll not notice it unless you really are watching his acting closely and if you are in sync with the story.

Albie Casino love love how he portrayed his role, perfect balance, just shown different sides of the LGBTQ.

If you still haven't watch the movie, I'll ask you to watch it, not because I am a huge fan of the actors cast in the film but because it is worth it.

"You can never undo your past, but you can correct what you did wrong, live in the present and look forward to the future"...

The How's Us...

Watching the film made a lot of impact to myself. A lot of what if's in every relationship. A lot of questions being asked as to why we got tired and fell out of love. 

What if George read the letter during the night that she asked Primo to leave the house, would the ending be different?

What if Primo has opened himself to George? if he just told her how he is really feeling and will that change the plot of their love story?

If it hasn't been for Primo choosing his passion above all else and became open to other opportunities, will his career have changed? 

The movie is twisted into a story that will make you realize how the real world really works. The twist at the ending is just right that will make everyone realized that if they didn't part ways they could've not grown to what they are when they have met each other again. Having said that, I still believe that if they have communicated and been open to each other, they won't need to part ways. To have a successful and long term relationship open communication is always the key, that no matter how difficult the challenges are it can be resolve by talking it out with each other. 

This is another movie that proved Kathniels prowess as actors, the way lines are delivered they will make you feel that you are part of what they are feeling. Direk Cathy Garcia - Molina has done something extra ordinary again. I am not a Kathniel Fan to be honest, but I was urged to watch the movie when it was shown here in the US. A well deserve kudos to all the cast and who worked on the film. 

Vintage Style #fashion #stylistelife

Living with elderly people has it's perks, specially for someone who is into fashion like myself. You know why? 

Coz they are watching old movies from 1920's to 1940's. If you want to know how fashion and style evolved, then it's good to watch this films, you will find how simple silhouettes are before and still looks perfectly polished and elegant. Long Gowns are more simpler depending on the occasion that a person is attending. You will also notice that in a formal social gathering people would dress elegantly and follows the dress code. 

When I watch this films and compare it with today's fashion, I can still see the old silhouettes, it's just that, it became more and more extravagant. If I am to be asked, I would gladly bring back the old style from the 1920's up to 1940's. I love their since of style during that time. If not because of the climate change, I would also want to bring back the old Victorian style of the 1400's to 1800's. Those corseted gowns and tuxedos, they are just perfect for my eyes. 

I recommend watching this films and fall in love with the fashion and styles; The Clock (1945), Love Finds Andy Hardy (1938) and The Good Old Summertime (1949) these are just some of the films that I love watching in TCM. 

So fashion lovers out there. Try and watch this films and be inspired!

Sad things...

I am not the type of person who always say what's in my head. I rather talk to myself when I am alone expressing what I truly feel about anything, or better yet, I write here in my blog what I feel. So here we go;

The reason why I hate watching news when I was in the Philippines is not because I don't like to update myself on what is happening around my country, it is because of the bias way news are being shared to the society. It's because I can see how my country men are, it's because it shows the true problem in the community that is already being shown and yet nobody cares and still throws the blame to another person. 

So there, I was checking on my twitter and saw tweets regarding the current situation of my country. It is under a strong typhoon once again and a lot of my country men are suffering. I believe that we filipinos are being looked up to by other people because we are resilient. We fall and then we find ways to rise up again, we can always recover quickly even though we were hit hard. We smile even though we are already tired and having a hard time. We are like chameleons that can easily adapt to changes. 

Sad thing is, we lack discipline, we lack responsibility, what we do best is put the blame to other people even though the problem started on our end. How can I say all these? It's because I grew up with it. Filipinos are never disciplined enough to follow rules and regulations, a simple way of disposing of garbage is not being followed. Candy wrappers being thrown out on the streets, along with plastic bottles, cups and bags. We are being taught on how to recycle and yet we are having a hard time doing it. Small things that if we have started to be responsible enough then there shouldn't be any floods, clogged drainage system, less problems. 

We lacked responsibilities, we are responsible for the garbage, if we have been doing what is right, not disposing garbage anywhere, all of this problems should've not occurred. But of course, we are not certified filipinos if we are not to blame our government, our leaders. We always feel that all the problems of the Philippines is because our leaders lacked. That the leaders are the ones to be blamed because they are not doing anything to mitigate the issue. Partly true because we can't deny that corruption is one of the pivotal reasons why projects are not being budgeted properly. Still, why can't we ask ourselves? What have we done to help the community? Am I one of the people who doesn't care and just throw the garbage anywhere? Have I make anything that can contribute for a positive change? Go ask yourselves and if you are confident about your answer then start serving the community. Help our government, help our leaders. By this way I believe, our country, the Philippines will be a better place to live in. 

It's been awhile

So, it's been awhile since I last wrote something here. Not that I have a lot of people reading my blog, still, I miss writing things that comes up in my mind; what I experience; what I want to express; a piece of something that will let me breathe once in awhile.

I can't believe that I have been in the US for more than a year now. A lot has happened and I learned a lot. I wasn't able to meet new people much as I don't even go out partying much. I go out just to appreciate the views, roam around Downtown, walk by the beach, look around the local thrift stores and bookstores, watch movies and take photos of places and things that I am seeing around.

After the fire that burned the place where I used to work and live at the same time, lost all of my personal stuff; I have to adjust with my working environment big time. I have to handle different people and also work with different people. It was difficult because up until now, I am still adjusting and just trying to appreciate what I do everyday. As what I have read before, love your job and it'll love you back. So here I am trying to love what I am doing focusing on what I want to achieve and what my real goal in life is. The reason why instead of pushing through with what I love to do in life, here I am doing things differently.

They say, you are the one who makes your destiny. You are the one who makes who you are, you choose to be someone depending on your liking. I guess that it's true, if you believe that you can do things then it will happen. Staying positive is always the best answer to every problem, smile that's when people see who you truly are as a person.

turning point in life

Last night I was asked by one of my close friends about my turning point in life. I had to think, I am unsure when, and if what comes to my mind is considered my turning point in life. And then this morning it hit me; 

- I became part of a local theater group when I was 17 years old, it's my turning point of living my dream of becoming an actor. I was able to get big roles that I never expect I would get, I became a backstage person which made me fell in love with the costumes and make up artistry. 

- At the age of 18, I became part of a family that is not even blood related to mine and yet they considered me as part of them, loved me and cared for me as if I was one of their own. Another turning point in my life where I realized that I was given gifts by God that is more that what I deserved in life. 

- I became part of an event team, became a handler, choreographer and even back stage director. These are the turning point in my life that I never realized I am already taking part of the industry that I have been dreaming to be part of a long long time ago.

- then there's PEM, I gained new people who believed in what I can do and what my capabilities are. It made me closer to the community, have advocacy to help other people, to give back after receiving. To have another family and friends to enjoy and have fun. 

- I then became part of JCI, a group of diverse individuals who made me realized what a country and a community should be. Culiat JCI is my ideals of a great community and probably country, where status quo is not an issue, it focuses more on what the group wants to achieve as one. It's another turning point in my life that honed me to be exceptional, that no matter what happens there will always be people to support you no matter what you want to achieve in life and even though you did wrong, they won't let you down, instead, they will pull you up and stand back on your feet.

But you know what my biggest turning point in life is? It is when the place I called home when I started living in this foreign land called land of dreamers got burned down to ashes. Where I got nothing left but myself and few personal stuff. December 5, 2017 made me realized that material things can be taken from you easily, that even though you tell yourself that seeing this things make you feel good because it's what you earned for working hard. This was the moment that I looked back and realized that I have been working hard and yet I don't have any savings, that I keep on buying things that I don't even need, things that I only wear once and that's it. And because of that, I started to think several times before I buy something, I will think 100 times where and when to use it. I still have some flaws, but due to this unforgettable experience, I started to think about my future, what is the reason why I came here in the first place. God has always been with me in all this challenges, I would say that I am not a church person, I never attended mass because I only sleep when I attend one hence I rather visit the church, light a candle and offer a prayer. I always believed that God is everywhere, he's living inside our hearts. Our faith is not measured how many times you go to church, if you have memorized the bible, it's on how you believe in Him.