Reflections

I am observant and everyone close to me would know. 

People will show that they like you but behind your back they talk differently. I myself is guilty of being that way, I talk behind peoples back too, it's an honest confession. I talk about their negative traits that I hated, the stupid things that they do, the attitudes that I can't stand to tolerate. I guess that is how we all are, we find ways to channel negativities we see and we experience from different people by bursting out the bad things about them. You see, for me doing so will help you find a way to see the goodness in them, their positive traits. I am not destroying them, but by doing so, I get to know them more and I find the best way to deal with them. I find balance in everything, in life, in challenges, in experiences. We all make mistakes, we are not perfect, but we can live with love instead of hatred, of peace instead of chaos, of acceptance instead of discrimination, and freedom to be taken lightly and with rules to still be followed.

There are some things in this world that we cannot break even if we want to, and that is the law of nature, you can be whoever you wanted to be, but you still need to respect what was originally created. We are created equally and gifted differently, so we must find respect in everything that we see and what we believe. Not because you changed yourself into who someone whom you believe you are, you already have the freedom to make everyone believe that you are. There are always boundaries and limitations, it is not hypocrisy nor discrimination, it's mutual respect and acceptance. Just because you are given freedom you will go beyond limitation. That's not how it work.

At the end of the day, you have to respect yourself first before everyone will respect you. 2018 for me is a balance year. I had my ups and downs, some abrupt decisions made, challenges and realizations. Been to places and met different people. Became more close to people who are close to my heart. Had days of depression but was able to break free and become more focused on the reasons why I decided to take chances in a faraway place, far from family and close friends. And, ended up living with the family who cultivated me to become who I am today. 

My life is still full of challenges and I just face them day by day. I know what I am capable of, what my skills and talents are, my strength and weaknesses, and in time, with a leap of faith, I will be blessed with what my heart desires. Lord Jesus and heavenly Father will always be there as my guide along with everyone who cares and love me no matter what.

Thanks 2018 for all the adventures, to all the places that you let me see. It has been a great and wonderful year, specially that I have ended it being with my family who accepted and believes in me and what I am capable of doing. 

One Year and Six Months

Hello Jobry!

How have you been? reflecting your life here in California since you arrived last June 12, 2017, can you say that your life has been great? Dreams coming true? Few bumps and struggles along the way?

Well, life for me has never been easy, I am just good in adapting. I change the way my environment change but never forgetting who I am and where I came from. I have a people to thank as well for without them, I wouldn't be able to come here, work and travel at the same time. I was able to help my family and friends as well, meet new people and learn from them. I could say that my one year and six months stay here in California, I have appreciated everything, places that was only in my dreams, I was able to go to.

My faith became stronger and I believed that God is always there with us no matter what. Ask away and He will answer, He will provide and will grace you with whatever your heart's desire.

I will be missing California, the places that I always go to, the lovely weather, the sunny beach during summer, the Downtown, Ventura where I love to shop because of its thrift stores where you can find rare fashion items that are even signature ones. Universal Studios and Disneyland where I have jump for Joy and went back to being a kid. I never thought that I will be able to experience all of these. I know I can always go back anytime when I want to, I already have friends whom I can call, a place where I can stay, during travel times.

Thank you Ventura, CA for giving me a home away from home. You let me experience things that never in my life I imagined I would experience. You made me value life over matters, gave me and eye opener to learn that even though money isn't the most important thing in the world, still, you need to save as you will need it for the future. I will see you again, that is for sure. I'm going to start travelling soon, maybe, on my own or maybe I will have someone special with me, whatever God's plan is for me, I have faith in Him.

One Year and Six Month it'll always be kept in my heart...

Just for today....

It's been awhile, even though I don't write much here on my blog and I doesn't even have a lot of readers, it doesn't matter. This is actually my personal haven. A place where I can write what's in my mind. It's mostly free writing, nothing serious. 

It's December 11, 2018, today is my second driving lesson. I never had experience driving a car so I am totally nervous, there's a lot of things running in my mind. My driving instructor is scary straight to the point, he'll tell you what you need to work on straight to the point and to be honest, I am rattled and nervous. I just hope that I can have everything cleared and I will pass my behind the wheels even if it's just a short period of time learning. I could say when I drive around, it makes me feel so relaxed and I kinda loving it, giving time practicing on my own, I got a feeling that I will get the chance to travel around US soon. It's one of the plans that I have been trying complete before I go back to the Philippines and start doing what I love to do, having that said,when I arrive to Illinois and live with my family again, I will start doing what I am passionate about which is creating clothes not just for myself but for everyone else who will love my fashion. 

I have been here in the US for more than a year now and I could say that I am still looking for myself and what I want to do. I love being a caregiver staying with old people and chatting with them, knowing their history and what they did in their younger years. I got the chance to work in a restaurant and I love it as well, customer service all the way. I feel sad leaving but I want a new start, the family I am going to has been my family for 11 years, they want me to be with them since I came here, I just want to give them a chance. Maybe, just maybe, I will be able to find what is meant to be for me. 

What do I need to do next, I don't know, what will I be able to prove, I don't know as well. But in God's perfect timing, I will be great, I know it. So, I am claiming that 2019 and years onward will be good and blessed. 

First Love

Love Happens in the Nick of time...

The hearts gets what it wants, walang makakapigil nito...

She save a life, she needs a heart, but her heart is too pure for me...

I will never know unless I try.. "hope to live"

At least if I die, I died because I live...

Carpe Diem - Seize the day

Now . Live in the moment . Today

The movie gives out a lot of life lessons that you never expect. It's not just a regular movie where you'll know what to expect, the drama, the kilig, the ending... You are part of the movie, you are one with the characters, you'll feel na parang andun ka rin, nararamdaman mo kung ano ang nararamdaman nila. Direk Paul Soriano's attack is so surreal that you are also hurting for them but still want to be there, hold their hands, hug them and tell them to keep on going . There's a balance in every character shown in the movie, it's a small cast but it completes the story. One who happens to be Nick's part of the past and constant reminder of what he did and tries to correct. One that makes Ali happy and think positively. The locations was showcased perfectly, it wants you to go there and see its beauty. And the song, the song! OMG! I so love that part in the bookstore! Just perfect! "Ikaw ang aking mahal"...

Two people with different diseases, one is fighting to live, living life as if it's her last and One who already gave up life and just waiting for the end... I love this part - "Pinapaalala niya sa akin araw araw na malapit na akong mamatay, na pweding ngayong araw na ito eh mamamatay na ako"...

Aga Mulach never fails to amaze me, he will always be the best leading man in every love story that is created.

Bea Alonzo did not just perfected her role as Ali but as she said she became her character, you'll believe here. How she feels and what she really wants to do in life.

Edward Barber doesn't look that it's his first time in a serious role, you'll see that he embraces his character as well, there are some awkward moments yes, but you'll not notice it unless you really are watching his acting closely and if you are in sync with the story.

Albie Casino love love how he portrayed his role, perfect balance, just shown different sides of the LGBTQ.

If you still haven't watch the movie, I'll ask you to watch it, not because I am a huge fan of the actors cast in the film but because it is worth it.

"You can never undo your past, but you can correct what you did wrong, live in the present and look forward to the future"...

The How's Us...

Watching the film made a lot of impact to myself. A lot of what if's in every relationship. A lot of questions being asked as to why we got tired and fell out of love. 

What if George read the letter during the night that she asked Primo to leave the house, would the ending be different?

What if Primo has opened himself to George? if he just told her how he is really feeling and will that change the plot of their love story?

If it hasn't been for Primo choosing his passion above all else and became open to other opportunities, will his career have changed? 

The movie is twisted into a story that will make you realize how the real world really works. The twist at the ending is just right that will make everyone realized that if they didn't part ways they could've not grown to what they are when they have met each other again. Having said that, I still believe that if they have communicated and been open to each other, they won't need to part ways. To have a successful and long term relationship open communication is always the key, that no matter how difficult the challenges are it can be resolve by talking it out with each other. 

This is another movie that proved Kathniels prowess as actors, the way lines are delivered they will make you feel that you are part of what they are feeling. Direk Cathy Garcia - Molina has done something extra ordinary again. I am not a Kathniel Fan to be honest, but I was urged to watch the movie when it was shown here in the US. A well deserve kudos to all the cast and who worked on the film. 

Vintage Style #fashion #stylistelife

Living with elderly people has it's perks, specially for someone who is into fashion like myself. You know why? 

Coz they are watching old movies from 1920's to 1940's. If you want to know how fashion and style evolved, then it's good to watch this films, you will find how simple silhouettes are before and still looks perfectly polished and elegant. Long Gowns are more simpler depending on the occasion that a person is attending. You will also notice that in a formal social gathering people would dress elegantly and follows the dress code. 

When I watch this films and compare it with today's fashion, I can still see the old silhouettes, it's just that, it became more and more extravagant. If I am to be asked, I would gladly bring back the old style from the 1920's up to 1940's. I love their since of style during that time. If not because of the climate change, I would also want to bring back the old Victorian style of the 1400's to 1800's. Those corseted gowns and tuxedos, they are just perfect for my eyes. 

I recommend watching this films and fall in love with the fashion and styles; The Clock (1945), Love Finds Andy Hardy (1938) and The Good Old Summertime (1949) these are just some of the films that I love watching in TCM. 

So fashion lovers out there. Try and watch this films and be inspired!

Sad things...

I am not the type of person who always say what's in my head. I rather talk to myself when I am alone expressing what I truly feel about anything, or better yet, I write here in my blog what I feel. So here we go;

The reason why I hate watching news when I was in the Philippines is not because I don't like to update myself on what is happening around my country, it is because of the bias way news are being shared to the society. It's because I can see how my country men are, it's because it shows the true problem in the community that is already being shown and yet nobody cares and still throws the blame to another person. 

So there, I was checking on my twitter and saw tweets regarding the current situation of my country. It is under a strong typhoon once again and a lot of my country men are suffering. I believe that we filipinos are being looked up to by other people because we are resilient. We fall and then we find ways to rise up again, we can always recover quickly even though we were hit hard. We smile even though we are already tired and having a hard time. We are like chameleons that can easily adapt to changes. 

Sad thing is, we lack discipline, we lack responsibility, what we do best is put the blame to other people even though the problem started on our end. How can I say all these? It's because I grew up with it. Filipinos are never disciplined enough to follow rules and regulations, a simple way of disposing of garbage is not being followed. Candy wrappers being thrown out on the streets, along with plastic bottles, cups and bags. We are being taught on how to recycle and yet we are having a hard time doing it. Small things that if we have started to be responsible enough then there shouldn't be any floods, clogged drainage system, less problems. 

We lacked responsibilities, we are responsible for the garbage, if we have been doing what is right, not disposing garbage anywhere, all of this problems should've not occurred. But of course, we are not certified filipinos if we are not to blame our government, our leaders. We always feel that all the problems of the Philippines is because our leaders lacked. That the leaders are the ones to be blamed because they are not doing anything to mitigate the issue. Partly true because we can't deny that corruption is one of the pivotal reasons why projects are not being budgeted properly. Still, why can't we ask ourselves? What have we done to help the community? Am I one of the people who doesn't care and just throw the garbage anywhere? Have I make anything that can contribute for a positive change? Go ask yourselves and if you are confident about your answer then start serving the community. Help our government, help our leaders. By this way I believe, our country, the Philippines will be a better place to live in.