Random

I don't have a lot of readers, yes, but I am happy seeing some checking what I write and post. My apologies as I am not a good writer, I just do freestyle, I write what I think and express what I feel. I just need something where to put my feelings unto. I envy those people who could write and express what comes in their minds with perfect plot and story. I am actually trying but I guess it's not really for me.

Today, I just want things to be random.

I am not even sure what my Team Leader will do if he sees me doing something not work related, but I don't care. I just want to express what I feel right now.

So, my weekend went great even though I am still coping up with my new rest day schedule which is Friday and Saturday, advantage actually since I can go to any event which are mostly scheduled on a Friday and Saturday. 

Friday, I watched Mister and Miss Holy Angel University, cheering for a friend and of course my crushes, was able to be proud hearing my name being acknowledge for providing assistance during their photo shoots. I kinda miss my life when I was still studying and handling this type of events. I'll admit, I was a bit disappointed with the flow of competition, still kudos to the organizers since they still made a lot of effort to make the pageant fabulous. In the end, even though me and my friend does not agree with one of the winners we still need to accept the result.

Saturday, I received the best gift ever. I am not sure what I did why I am receiving so much blessings this year, still I am so thankful. I guess that is because of how I treat people and how I project myself as a person. I can look tough on the first look and you have to dig deeper on order to know me well. It's just the first impression. Just like when you read a book, you do not just look at its cover but you have to read it thoroughly in order for you to know it more. Had family time after awhile, I missed my Yumi, I bet she's sad and cried since I haven't visited her for quiet awhile. It's not easy to have her at my own place since I always come home late and I leave early all the time. What's more fascinating was gate crashing the after party of Mr and Ms HAU candidates. It was actually fun though I do not have the guts to talk to them, I don't know where it went but I enjoyed the night. Gosh it's been a long time since I went our partying. 

Oh well, as of right now, here I am, working and at the same time updating this blog, which happened to be my diary at the same time. And I am not sleepy since I went home at around 4pm and has to wake up at 9am since I need to cook my brunch and as well as for my dinner that I will be bringing to work. Single life is really fun and challenging at the same time. My life is getting fulfilled one by one and in time I know I will be able to achieve my goal, take it slowly but surely. Though taking risk is another option.  

31

Age is just a number, what matters most are the experiences that you gain as you move forward with your life. As you age, you start a new chapter of your life, 365 pages to be exact. It is up to you how you want each chapter be different from each other. Either you meet new people, travel a lot, experience new adventure or learn new things. There are a lot of things that can be done, just make sure that you always capture and treasure those moments.

I never knew that I will grow up to be a person with strong personality, a person with confidence and very intimidating. And yet, deep inside I am really introvert, I always have felt insecure specially when I am with people who have college degree. I always feel that something is missing. Yes, I have the skills and talent, I am a good conversationalist and however, when it comes to education background I always feel down.

I dreamed of finishing my college and I wasn't able to, I lack skill in handling money. I started working at the age of 16 and yet up until now I still don't have a fix savings. I always at the present and hard earned money for me is being spent to pamper myself. I tried, several times but still I need to dig deeper. I need someone to motivate me to be more disciplined in handling my finances.

After 31 years, now I can say that I am living independently, I live on my own. I juggle my schedules from my day job and other commitments. I make sure that I still have time for myself and my family, it's been a long time since I bonded with them and I need to catch up. I already missed a lot and even though I laugh things out. I can still see my eyes sad and feeling incomplete.

Life is to short not to be happy! So I always choose happiness. I want to enjoy life to the fullest. I am 31 and it doesn't matter. I know I still have a long way to go.

Valentines

Whoever invented it, well what can I say?

I am not sure why it's special and why do even people spend for just a day. Was it even worthy? 

I see flowers, balloons, stuff toys, cakes and chocolates, for what? You can give all of these even if it's not valentines.

What is so special about valentines? why was it even invented? for what? for whom?

Ohh, well this is just me and my random thought. 


I am no expert with love, not even in a relationship. I had one, only one and yet I gave up on him. I felt tired when I am just asking for a day with me. Still, life has to go on. I dated and tried pursuing guys that I like but then we are better of as friends. I guess my valentines will always be me, myself and I.

What's yours?

Motivation

what makes a person motivated?

One question that always comes to my mind everyday and I still can't find the best answer. Can you?

It comes to me that to be motivated you need to find something or someone that will keep you focus in aiming whatever your goal is. What if that someone or something left you, what will become of you then?

They say to stay motivated you have to love what you do. Then, what if you are starting to fall out of love? what is the next thing to do?

Motivation?

as per google and general term - is a reason or reasons for acting or behaving in a particular way. 

So, how can we stay motivated then? what is the best way to motivate ourselves especially when we can't find anything special in what we do anymore?

Appreciation

30 mins...

I only have 30 mins to write what I feel and discovered today.

Never,

Never have I thought that there will be a lot of people who appreciates me and believes in me. Just now when I saw that sewing machine that was given to me as gift by a friend. It all came to me that everyone who are within my circle have pushed me through and wants me to live that dream that I have been dreaming for such a long time.

Never did I appreciate all of their kind words since I always feel that I am a failure. I did not finish college and had a degree but still I consider myself as an educated person who gained knowledge and wisdom through life experience. Still, I feel inferior and always think what should have been my life if I finished college.

Strong,

Strong - that's what everyone tells me, but deep within me is a person who has a lot of insecurities. I always say that my life is an open book but nobody knows what I truly feels inside. I am the epitome of what they call "strong on the outside but soft in the inside". I am a bitch, yes! I would agree to that, but a bitch with class and will never stoop down beyond the border of my principles. But then again, I still feel insecure.

Dream,

I have always dreamed of becoming part of the fashion industry, however, I lacked self discipline. I have been working for such a long time and I was only able to pursue studying fashion on my 29th birthday as a gift. I always plan things out ahead of time and yet nothing happens, for whatever reason I do not know. I guess, I really need to hold on to everything that I really want to happen with my life. Still, I have a lot of learning to do - self discipline.

Appreciation,

No I deeply appreciate all the kind words that were being said to me. People who always believe that I have a long way to go, and just don't give up easily. That, even the most successful person in this world failed several times before they are able to achieve their goals and dreams in life and with that, I live at the present time and appreciates everything without hesitation and with open arms. I am indebted to everyone who trusts and believes in me. I know in time, I will give back all that I received and will be able to help someone achieve their dreams as well.

As I always say to myself - Fata Viam Inveniente -

As I look back...

Indeed, 2016 is such an amazing year. Bitter-sweet to be exact. I was able to sustain my passion even though it was not continues, still I was able to meet new people who might be able to help me grow in the kind of industry that I have been hoping to grow old with. 

I started learning to become what I dream to become in the corporate industry. dnata Peer Trainer Program is something that gives me the chance to hone my skill as a trainer. I hope in time I will be able to train people as part of my job and just because no once is available to deliver the company process that every new hire needs to learn. - I am positive on this -  

I was able to go places, thanks to JCI coz I am able to go to the places that never I thought I will be able to go since I lack confidence in being adventurous by travelling on my own, which, I ma looking forward to do as soon as possible. 

The family whom I lived for a decade was able to live their dreams and I am so happy for them, sad, yes, however, I know that in time we will all still meet along the way. 

I started living life alone, as in literally alone. It was not as bad as I thought it would be, it's actually challenging since I need to make sure that budgets are being met and bills are being paid in time. I don't want to lose the trust that a good friend entrusted me when she offered a shelter. I believe that this is the time for me to really spread my wings and face more bigger challenges.

And so, I am looking forward that this new chapter will give me greater and bolder opportunities in Fashion Industry as Stylist and in my corporate world as Trainer. 

Music + Sadness

Have you come to the point where in you feel vulnerable? Just like today, I am just listening to online music and all of a sudden I hear "marry me" by Jason Derulo and then I feel like crying and my hopeless romantic side keeps on flashing. I feel like I am not worthy be loved since I've never been into relationship since like forever.