Shattered Dreams...

Last December of 2008, one of my friend came to me and asked for financial help. Her father needs to be operated with his slip disk, she asked me if I want to get a bank loan. At first my plan was to use the loan for my school back fees so that comes June I could enroll and then go back to my studies. But then my friend asked if she could borrow 3/4 of the amount that I'm going to have, since she needs financial help that time badly, I did not hesitate to give the amount that she was trying to borrow. I lent it to her.

First payment for the loan, I asked if I will be the one to pay for it, she told me that she'll do it. Since she promised me that, I hold on to her word, I did not drop any single cent to my check book account. After a month, the bank called me and was advised that I need to pay the amount needed because the bank where I loaned the money, I was disappointed, but then I just asked them to cancel it and I'll just pay the said amount. I called my friend, still she insist that she'll be paying for the monthly loan payment, and same thing as before, I listened to her.

Comes February, worst thing happened, my checking account closed since I'm not depositing any since I was told be my friend that she'll take good care of it, I've got nothing to deposit that particular day coz I already spent my salary. I've decided that no matter what she promise it keeps on being broken, so I just made things clear to myself that I already own the responsilbility of paying the debts that was not even on my plan after all. I see to it that, I'll be saving enough money to pay its monthly charge.

Since I wasn't able to pay on exact month, I had two months delay and right now I've been 4 months delayed due to extra curricular activities that I had at work that has financial involvement. Last month, I took my SSS loan just to have the amount to pay my delayed charges and so that it won't have penalty charges, however, it was already to late, I received a notice letter from the bank stating that I was already penalized and it was 24% of the amount that I have to pay. My heart sunk but I can't think of anything but the just to face this problems.

My dream of going to school this school years 2nd semester shattered into pieces, coz even my "paluwagan" this coming November will go to the bank to pay off the loan. I've been excited and really prepared to go back to school, I even started planning my time management since I won't be resigning with my current job right now coz I love it so much that I can't even try to leave and seek for bigger opportunity. Anyway, bigger opportunity for me is like leaving the country and work abroad. Becoming one of the best Fashion Designer of the country and also the world if ever. Having my own modelling agency which will handle international models and supermodels.

Right now, I just keep my faith that in time I'll have everything solved and paid. All the hard works for this year is the biggest challenge I ever faced for the past years of my life, next to being left by my family when I was still in highschool. I cried of course, but after the tears, I have to smile back and face the problem. I know that no matter what happens, in time, I'll be going back to school and finish my studies, have the degree which will make my appraisal bigger when I seek for another career.

Shattered it may be, but I know that there's something more bigger waiting for me. Somewhere where they will appreciate all my hardworks, my passion and my dedication for every job and responsibilities that's entrusted in me.