Which is which?

After a long time of not writing anything here, undecided what topic to discuss. I've been busy for quite sometime since February. Already been into a lot of trials on what topics to post.

I had the saddest birthday ever... I lost the most valuable piece of my life... I had the most unforgettable embarrassing moments of my entire life after sleeping on my vomit during our theatre directors birthday few years back and now being a total ground zero at one of the hottest spot in the Metro...

Still don't have my special someone... In search for love... Been hooked with Facebook and Asia novelas once again my most recent one was You're so Beautiful and Yamato Nadeshiko Sechi Hengi...

Got the chance to train new hire for our account, and been promoted as one of the SME's/Senior Agent... Faced all the challenges and trials almost everyday, testing my patience and mind focus.

What else? am not yet sure...

This is me...

" all I want to find is someone who could accept me..."

" My name is Gaps, I may not be discreet but I know how to present my self very well, I am prim and proper, I have the right attitude towards everything... Some says that I'm a chameleon who can always adopt certain changes with my environment"

I love hanging out with friends, traveling, party and photography. I love capturing the beauty of everything that surrounds me. I love meeting people and making friends with them. Intimidating at times, coz people always have an impression that I'm a snob, but hell am not. I maybe talkative but I also know how to listen. I'm a career person, I focus more on my growth and for the growth of those whom I care a lot.

I pity those who pretend to be some one whom they are not, being true to yourself is way much better rather than becoming a pathetic fool, if you're gay, then embrace it, accept the fact that bisexual are for those who can have sex and relationship with both male and female, if you only love guys then don't be a fool...

I may wear heels at work, have nail polished every 15th and 30th of the month, have long hair, and plucked eyebrows...

But one thing am certain, I'm willing to change if someone gives me that so called respect and love...

--can I be your right one?


I am GAY and happy to be out and proud...

Collections...

"I told you that I loved you and my heart stopped not because I was saying it for the first time but because I knew I meant it more than anything."

"And this is love: two souls that freely meet, and have no need of proving anything."

" I wanna be the girl who makes your bad days better the one that makes you say, "my life has changed since I met her"

"A part of you has grown in me, together forever we shall, never apart, maybe in distance but in the heart."

"I wonder how many people never get the one they want, but end up with the one they're supposed to have"

"Caring for someone is easy but making someone care for you is hard. Now I kept wondering... How did you make it easy for me to care for you."

"If you love someone you say it, you say it right then, out loud. Otherwise the moment just... passes you by..."

"People think that if you love somebody hard enough then everything is just gonna work out. People are wrong."

"I don't know if we each have a destiny or if we're all just floatin' around accidental-like on a breeze. But I, I think maybe it's both."

"You made me realize that I've always been missing something I never even knew I wanted."

"I never wanted the stars, never shot for the moon. I like them right where they are? all I wanted was you."

"Maybe some friendships aren't meant to saved. Maybe we're meant to spend certain part of our life with certain people... and then move on."

"I told him I was afraid of falling, and he whispered, "I have wings."

"Couples who love each other tell each other a thousand things without talking."

"I believe in memories, they look so, so pretty when I sleep. And when I wake up, you look so pretty sleeping next to me."

"Oh I just remembered how your hand fits the curve of my waist, and how your smile fits the curve of my mind."

"Why do we close our eyes when we kiss, when we dream, when we sleep? because the best things in the world go unseen..."

"Sometimes, it feels no one understand I don't even know why, I do the things I do CAUSE ITS A LONG LONG JOURNEY TILL I FIND MY WAT HOME TO YOU"

"I never want you to think that you are anything less than amazing."

"Never give up on the things that make you smile."

"There's a millions of people in this world, but in the end it all comes down to one."

"I can make no apologies for following my heart."

"I will put a wall around my heart and would not let anyone in. You know why? It's because my heart will wait forever just to be with you again"

"I loved you without knowing how. I loved you without knowing when. I loved you without knowing why. I love you even though knowing to you, I'm just a friend..."

"I have to many people for more than a billion times but when I first saw you, my heart took over and smiled for the first time."

Year 2010

Start of another year, another chapter has been open on this book called "LIFE". What do we expect for this year? What are the new challenges that we'll face not only to ourselves but also for the whole country?

This year will be another start for our country, 2010 election will be taking place this May and we need to decide who's going to be the best and suitable leader whom we should be voting. A leader who can make our country progress more in it's economic status. A leader who is honest, trustworthy and responsible enough to face all the problems that our country is still facing right now. I could say that Madame GMA made a big impact when it comes to our economic problem, she provided more jobs for us Filipinos. BPO's were born because of her, high school graduates and college undergraduates got the chance to work on their careers with call center jobs. She did a lot of things for our country that we should have noticed and appreciated, but then again people only see her flaws, the wrong things.

I should say that Filipino mentality is the main cause as to why our country couldn't achieve it's growth. We have our own choices on whom we want to be our leader but when we see something wrong and hear some bad rumors about them, we are the first one to react and do something that cause more trouble. Ans what I hate the most, paying peoples to join rallies which doesn't have any relevance.

Why can't we just be happy for what we have right now? Why can't we support those who leads us, react when we see that everything gone wrong and our leader couldn't even do anything anymore but just stealing our earned hard works. I can find those who lead this stuff as someone who doesn't know how to follow the laws of nature. Who wants to break the law and be the one seated on the position that isn't really meant for them. I'm not pertaining any particular here, I'm merely expressing base on what I have observed.

This year, 2010, we need to be sure who's going to be the right person to lead our country. We need someone who is a good listener, has a good eyesight and a heart that is gold, a listener to our country's cry, an eyesight to see the sadness in his country's eyes and a golden heart that can heal our country's wound that swells from all the difficulties of the past. Let's make sure that we are doing the right choice, not because of the campaign materials they use and not because of the promises they keep on saying that never happens. We need to check on their backgrounds, if they did well before they run as presidential nominee.

All I'm saying is that, let's make this new year a whole new one. A year of growth, for ourselves, for our family and relatives, for our country men and most of all for our country. Also, let us heal our country, let it not swell more and have all hard works gone to nothing.

A prosperous, productive and full of love new year to all.

A story to tell...

Let me share this story about my childhood friends family whom I consider to be my second family when I was still young, way back when we are still in our primary years and half of my secondary years. Before I moved out of the subdivision where I dreamed of many thing and planned my career.

I won't be disclosing their personal information. Though, I know that if someone knows me well reads this particular story they would recognize who's that childhood friend of mine is. I dedicate this story to them since I always remember their family the most during Christmas time, where i envy them so much even though my family is also doing great during this holiday season.

So here it goes...

!5 years ago, when I was still leaving in this small subdivision, I had this childhood friends who became so close to me and my family, they were like my sisters. At first they are not living inside the subdivision, they had their house just outside the subdivisions gate and they were my sister's classmate in Kindergarten and eventually as time passed by they also became my friends. My father who is a total friendly neighbor became friends with their mom and everyone outside the subdivision, since my father used to sell fishballs during night time roaming around the barangays near our place. I'm also having my haircut with one of their borders.

After a few years, they transferred inside the subdivision because their mom became the care taker of this apartment blocks near our home, actually in front of our house. This twins became more closer to us. We along with my siblings and some friends from the blocks used to play outside after school until 7pm, and since back then, we don't have our own TV set, we tend to go to their place just to watch movies and of course some of our favorite television shows.

We used to have a house party at their place with friends, watching movies, playing playstation games and of course sleep overs which happens almost everyday especially when our parents allowed all of us to sleep at their place. I even had my mother locked me out of the house since I went home very late. Simply because, I still don't want to go home since I love what i'm watching. I'm one of the eldest on our group that time and my friends mom always asks me to watch over them especially when she needs to leave at night, with extra "Baon", money of course coming from here, she's like a mom to me.

During Christmas, I envy them so much cause they always get what they want. New clothes, toys, games, money and etc, since their father has a good job in Manila. Their house has the best Christmas decoration cause their mom's very creative, have the best foods also. They are the happiest family I ever saw and admired, up until now of course, I wish I could go back and be with them again.

They picture the perfect family, hardworking and loving dad, caring, thoughtful and loving mom, and children who knows how to appreciate everything that is given to them, may it be big or small. One small yet happy family. Their parents even love taking good care of us, their friends. Their family is like friendship also, they have bonding moments whenever their dad goes home from manila.

But something happened that became a shock to all of us. We all knew at an early age that their mom was into drugs that time, along with one of our childhood friend's mom and some who also live on our neighborhood. Their mom was sent to rehab due to drugs, for six months. Their house became dull, so silent and so sad, my friends were not brought up us spoiled ones but responsible ones. They know how to work all by themselves at an early age and that's already something. Nobody knew what was happening from the inside, everything seems the same even though Tita was not around.

After six months, Tita was already cleared off and was sent back home, we thought that everything was still the same. She even tells us her story when she was still inside, she's perfectly better. Their family had to keep up with the missing days with their mom and so things were back to it's form. My parents had no news regarding this stuff coz I was already by myself that time. My family already left to my father's province for good. I was alone by myself and they where my family for a year and a half before my Aunts pulled me out of the house cause it was already been sold.

Shocked came to me when I heard the news one time I visited them advising that my friends mom and dad broke up. They already had a problem since they had their mom back from rehab. Their father had an affair when he was still in manila and so their mom had to leave and go back to her province. Shattered as it may be, but my friends kept on being strong as they are. They had to move out of their apartment and live with their Grandma, whom I actually don't like that much, may her soul be at peace.

Last time I was with them was in Zambales, they were staying at their mother's friend's house and then went back to Pampanga. But then again, the other half stayed with their mom in Laguna, from which I heard that they are happy coz their mom already moved forward with her life and has a boyfriend.

Right now, I don't have any news from them, I heard that the other one is having a baby and no news with the other half. I'm just hoping that both of them will be in good condition. I miss the Family that I admire so much, but what can with do, fate keeps on changing what we intend to keep.

A long weekend trip with friends...

Due to thanks giving holiday in US, we ended up having no work since Thursday. My account with the company am working with follows US holidays unless there's a lot of stuff to work on with.

My friends and I planned on going to Enchanted Kingdom during this holiday for a month and recently we planned of going straight to Tagaytay since one of our workmate suggested that we can stay to their house in Laguna and since Tagaytay is just 25 mins away from their place, he also suggested that we can go their if we want.

Our initial plan was to commute, ride a bus and find an apartelle or hotel to stay overnight then go back to Manila for Divisoria. Then due to suggestions, we rented a van w/o driver so that we can go wherever we wish to go. However, two days before the big day, our friends grand father died so we need to make a new plan and work it out. Pushed through with renting a van and then going to Tagaytay until lunch time and then to Enchanted Kingdom afterwards.

We left around five thirty in the morning from Dau bus terminal. Traveled pass through NLEX then to Sta. Mesa to SLEX going to Tagaytay. We reached Peoples Park around 9am, we bought some stuff for our friends and for ourselves, shirts, key chains and etc. Had our lunch at the Picnic Grove over looking the beautiful scenery of Taal lake. After having our lunch, we went down to the city looking for ATM booths, and one of the biggest challenge that we faced during this trip, we still don't have our salary and it's been 12 noon.

Still not losing hope, we went down to Laguna and look for a mall to spend our time while waiting for our salary. It's pass 2pm when we reached Walter mall so we checked our cards if we already have our money. Sad, but still there's none, so we thought of just roaming around and find a place to stay until 3pm since we still had no place to stay and that's the 2nd challenge that we need to solve.

Can't find the place the stay coz they can only provide two person per room accommodation and it's way too expensive so we keep on looking for a place to stay until one of our friends sister texted us and informed us that our pay has been out, so we went to SM Sta. Rosa which is the nearest mall from where we are at that time, amazing race indeed since we are all excited, we ran through the mall looking for an ATM booth. Three of us had trouble with their card number so they weren't able to withdraw money, we lend them money in order for us to push through with Enchanted Kingdom.

Quarter to 4pm when we reached Enchanted Kingdom, and the bad news that came to us. They are only open until 7pm and we only had 4 hours left to enjoy and have fun. Still excited and hyper as always, we went on and paid our tickets. There's a lot of people inside and all the rides has long lines with it, but that didn't stop us from enjoying ourselves from riding all the rides that we can ride on to. We enjoyed the rest of the evening seeing the view from the top while riding the Ferris Wheel.

We went on with our trip looking for the best "Buko Pie" shops for our family and friends. Then went back to Manila for a place to stay which took us a long time to find one and we ended up having an 8hrs stay at one motel in Sta. Mesa after roaming around Metro Manila for almost 4hrs.

The next day we went to Greenhills for our shopping spree, should've been to Divisoria but since it's Saturday, we can't just go there and be traffic by shoppers who's doing their Christmas shopping. Last year I was in US and now, I had the best long weekend ever, no money left, yes, but am so happy coz I've experience this fun with friends. Till next year... :)

Day 1 of Long Weekend from work...

Tonight will be the so called "Thanksgiving Holiday" in US and our account joins the holiday since we follow business days and hours in US. Turkeys will be out for dinner, hoping that we also have it here, family and friends gather together. I'm actually curious when did this holiday has started and why everyone needs to have Turkeys on their table? I'll try to do some research on this one, why not? History is one of my favorite subject when I was still studying.

When the clock strikes 6am means that our shift has ended and everyone is excited for all their plans during our four days vacation from work. Last night, we only have worked few tasked, most of our calls has VM's stating that they will only work half day and our queue has few task after all. We hit NRT for PTC queues several time the whole shift that's why we just chatted regarding our plans for the next three days coz definitely, today will be our rest day and the next days will be busy and fun.

My supervisor actually invited me to come to his house with the guys to have some drink and am not yet sure if I'll come since I still need to prepare for our EK and Tagaytay day tomorrow. I still need to decide on this one.

Today is the best day of my life coz problems has been solved and I only need to follow up my friend's reply on what she still owes me, which is totally "BIG TIME". Haven't heard from her yet for such a long time and I am already frustrated to go to their house and look for her. Anyway, am still happy coz things are getting better for me before the year ends. Still have some more plans to push through so I still need to focus more on saving and be thrifty.

There you go, I still need to rest and sleep even for just a short time, I still have long hours to spend when I wake up. I still need to go to the Gym to work on my abdominal. Ciao for now, I'll be posting my current activities, by Sunday.